Monday, August 22, 2011

longing

I am writing this tanka for The Purple Treehouse's Poetic Forms : Waka.

I am sticking to the 5-7-5-7-7 syllables format for this exercise, though I used to write this form in less syllables. This is acceptable in modern English tanka. :)




photo by lcmatt
image from morguefile.com


longing


what then do i see?
a field of wavering grass
a blue sky of clouds.

but not your face, nor your smile
not today, not tomorrow.



21/08/2011
**********








© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ), 2011

9 comments:

Tigerbrite said...

This is very good. It made me think of that picture for the story prompt where the girl is standing in the long grass.

dsnake1 said...

Thank you, Tigerbrite!

i actually wrote this with that picture as the prompt, but somehow i couldn't find the picture to save to my post. anyway, this tanka is supposed to be a sad little poem. :)

Mike Patrick said...

Lovely, I remember the photo, but this poem works perfectly without any prompt.

bodhirose said...

The feeling of longing was very well described by you in these few words. I really liked your tanka.

dsnake1 said...

Mike,

thanks for the visit, and your kind comments. :)


bodhirose,

glad you like the poem!
i wrote this in a short span of time, guess the muse was kind to me. :)

The Gooseberry Garden said...

great write.

welcome joining poetry picnic tonight.

week 2 theme : the kiss.

cheers.

dsnake1 said...

Thanks!

Promising Poets Parking Lot said...

love it,

eloquent and beautiful.

dsnake1 said...

Thank you! :)