I am sticking to the 5-7-5-7-7 syllables format for this exercise, though I used to write this form in less syllables. This is acceptable in modern English tanka. :)
photo by lcmatt
image from morguefile.com
longing
what then do i see?
a field of wavering grass
a blue sky of clouds.
but not your face, nor your smile
not today, not tomorrow.
21/08/2011
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© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ), 2011
9 comments:
This is very good. It made me think of that picture for the story prompt where the girl is standing in the long grass.
Thank you, Tigerbrite!
i actually wrote this with that picture as the prompt, but somehow i couldn't find the picture to save to my post. anyway, this tanka is supposed to be a sad little poem. :)
Lovely, I remember the photo, but this poem works perfectly without any prompt.
The feeling of longing was very well described by you in these few words. I really liked your tanka.
Mike,
thanks for the visit, and your kind comments. :)
bodhirose,
glad you like the poem!
i wrote this in a short span of time, guess the muse was kind to me. :)
great write.
welcome joining poetry picnic tonight.
week 2 theme : the kiss.
cheers.
Thanks!
love it,
eloquent and beautiful.
Thank you! :)
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