Monday, May 30, 2011

Heavy Metal

This is for Poetry Potluck Week #37 at Jingle Poetry. The theme is "Thunderstorms, Floods and Water fury"

I wrote this way back in 2006 after witnessing nature's fury of a thunderstorm from the relative safety of my home. The day earlier, I was caught out in the bike trail during a storm, and it was pretty scary. Especially when you are among many dead and blackened trees, and you know what had happened to them.

photo by mconnors
image from

Heavy Metal

the sky was rocking
heavy metal,
clouds bruised
blue black,
as white light slashed
across its face
it growled
as in pain.

i leaned at the window
as my cigarette smoke
curled outside
to die
in the rain.


© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ), 2011


Isabel said...

love the comparison. great poem

Judith C Evans said...

Wonderful descriptions, such as "clouds bruised blue black". Love the way this poem gives the storm its own personality!

Jingle said...

clouds bruised,

love the image of the line,
so witty and brave piece.
Happy Potluck.

Olivia said...

Glad you are safe!
It is scary to read enough (the introduction before the poem)

Short but heavy!
hugs xox

dsnake1 said...

hi Isabel,

thank you, glad that you see the analogy there. :)

hi Judith,

thanks for visiting! yes, i think each storm has its own "personality". :)

hi Jingle,

thank you for your kind words. i am enjoying the potluck. :)

hi Olivia,

always glad to hear from you. :) indeed it was a very humbling experience, made me realise how vulnerable we humans can be in the face of nature's fury.

Anonymous said...

Oh I love this! Its a great comparison. Really cool! I am so glad your safe

dsnake1 said...

thank you, mindlovemisery!

that happened many years back, and it caught many of us riders by surprise. :)

Anonymous said...

'I thought this was great! the images were wonderful!

dsnake1 said...

thank you, luna, for your kind words. :)

Ravenblack said...

So true. A lightning storm could be a like a while heavy metal concert! :)

- Liz

dsnake1 said...


hey Liz, that was what i had in mind when i wrote that. drum rolls, thumping bass, snarling guitars..

and i was at the window watching all these..:)

Old Raven said...

I think that this is pretty accurate ... and very well done.

dsnake1 said...


thank you!