Thursday, April 5, 2012

NaPoWriMo 2012 - Day # 5 - the lights of the city

i found some notes in an old journal, and expanded on the scrawls there...

the lights of the city

12.05 a.m.
a hazy veil of red
across the lace of sky

no stars, rain falling

06.25 a.m.
a van coughs
headlights slicing the carpark

another work day

        7.00 p.m.
        gridlock on the highway

        tail-lights of cars
        angry as hot coals

        10.30 p.m.
        tv blaring over greasy tables

        at the coffee shop
        men with beer bellies cheer

12.05 a/m/
a hazy veil of grey
across the face of sky

a tired moon peeps.


© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ), 2012


Ravenblack said...

This is very good. Images evoking the mood. Red tail lights in a jam resembling hot coals -- that really nails it.

Lynn Fisher said...

I love that you used your journals for this...I'm a big proponent of journaling, and using them for your work.
great work!

dsnake1 said...


i am glad you liked this piece. i thought serving snippets of urban images might be a good idea.

it seems to work. :)


thank you!
i am a fan of journals too. maybe i am old school, i still like the feel of writing on paper. i still have several old notebooks with me, complete with yellowed pages and my untidy scribbles. when i look at a poem on those pages years later, it is like a record of how it evolved, why those words were in an angry scrawl, why those whole stanzas were chopped off from the final product. the problem with journals is that they may be lost or misplaced, and your works gone. it has happened to me. :)

ashok said...

thats nicely written...

dsnake1 said...

thank you, Ashok. :)