i found some notes in an old journal, and expanded on the scrawls there...
the lights of the city
12.05 a.m.
a hazy veil of red
across the lace of sky
no stars, rain falling
06.25 a.m.
a van coughs
headlights slicing the carpark
another work day
7.00 p.m.
gridlock on the highway
tail-lights of cars
angry as hot coals
10.30 p.m.
tv blaring over greasy tables
at the coffee shop
men with beer bellies cheer
12.05 a/m/
a hazy veil of grey
across the face of sky
a tired moon peeps.
05/04/2012
**********
© cheong lee san ( dsnake1 ), 2012
5 comments:
This is very good. Images evoking the mood. Red tail lights in a jam resembling hot coals -- that really nails it.
I love that you used your journals for this...I'm a big proponent of journaling, and using them for your work.
great work!
Raven,
i am glad you liked this piece. i thought serving snippets of urban images might be a good idea.
it seems to work. :)
Lynn,
thank you!
i am a fan of journals too. maybe i am old school, i still like the feel of writing on paper. i still have several old notebooks with me, complete with yellowed pages and my untidy scribbles. when i look at a poem on those pages years later, it is like a record of how it evolved, why those words were in an angry scrawl, why those whole stanzas were chopped off from the final product. the problem with journals is that they may be lost or misplaced, and your works gone. it has happened to me. :)
thats nicely written...
thank you, Ashok. :)
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